Wine that goes FZZZZZZZZZZ.
Exactly WHEN is the right time to open an excellent bottle of sparkling wine?
Before we talk about the time to open it, we have to discuss the 800 kilogram gorilla in the room.
The name of a region in France noted for producing storied sparkling wine comes loaded with a tremendous amount of imagery and status baggage. It also dominates casual conversation about wine that we associate with the style. Champagne is to the sparkling category as Kleenex is to tissues.
I am convinced the wine in question is one of the greatest public relations and marketing campaigns in the history of things we consume.
Have you been? Until lately, the climate was not what you’d routinely pick for growing wine grapes. It rains a lot. The temperatures were middling. It was more of a broccoli terroir. What is meant by ‘terroir’? Nobody really knows.
Almost every year they’d face a harvest of challenged fruit (going back a few hundred years). Low on sugar, high in acid, faint colour. I suppose they’d crank out what they could for still table wine after picking off the slugs and separating the moldy and mildew bunches. But eventually an accident, as they do, happened. A guy in the cellar discovered a few bottles refermenting. This is usually a bad thing. He tasted it and was rumored to exclaim, “Come quickly, I am tasting the stars!”
Also he was a monk.
Also he was blind.
Just stumbling around the cellar, imbibing, exclaiming. Next week maybe we’ll talk about the Widow and her kitchen door but you get the idea. The spin is hard with this place.
All that aside, they have used the intervening years to create a fabulous product. They used the adversity to innovate and their ‘methode traditionnelle’ now actually requires conditions for their crop that would be a disaster in other regions.
But when is the time to drink it?
Outside of Champagne, the world is full of different sparkling wines. Some are made in the OG style, some in tank, some like a bottle of soda (rude! but refreshing!). Cavas from Spain, Prosecco from Italy, Cremant from elsewhere in France, Sekt from Germany; red, white, pink, sweet, dry. Some very effervescent, some with reduced CO2. Plenty to choose from every wine region in the world. Choose a few and get them chilling.
Again, when is the time to drink them?
It is a dilemma. You don’t want to crack a $100 bottle for just anything. By the same token, a $10 bottle of Duck something isn’t going to measure up for the big events of life.
To take the thinking out of things for you, I have created this handy list to help you decide when to pop the cork/cap and start with the toasting. Remember, sparkling wine is for celebration. But it is also for consolation. Or a mixture of the two. At least that’s what the press release keeps telling me.
Top Nine Reasons to Open a Bottle Of Bubble
These are not in order of importance. Your mileage may vary.
Somebody had a baby. Perhaps you know these people and you’d like to make the event special. Make sure you open the bottle immediately or the new parents may just take it home with them and you will get none. Do not give any to the baby.
Somebody got a new job. Perhaps it is you! Usually a new job is worthy of a celebration. There’s often a bump up in remuneration so splurge a little. Unsure if this is a celebration? Wait 90 days until the workplace probationary period has passed.
Coupling! Engagements, marriages, anniversaries of same. Coming together in peace and love is worth a little celebration. If you are picking the wine for your own event, know your choice will be judged for eternity by your other half. Choose wisely.
Scholarly advancement: degrees granted, grades passed, acceptance by an esteemed institution. All fine moments of intellectual prowess to be marked by a glass or three of sparkling. Ninth place out of 12 in my dog’s obedience class also qualified in this household.
Look! On the calendar! The state had decreed a holiday. In most cases this is sufficient reason to open some bubs. How some of these days and their official description coincide with a ‘celebration’ may require some creative interpretation.
Leaving town? A little vacation at the shore or in the mountains? As you recreate your body, mind and soul, ease the process with a toast to you and your traveling companions’ expeditions of enrichment.
It’s not everyday that you (fill in the blank). Make sure milestones and major events as you define them are properly feted. Something as predictable as a birthday or something less probable like your cousin’s ridiculous stock tip actually paying off. Your car’s odometer ticked over to many more zeros, the cat had kittens or found its mittens; you decide then pop the cork.
In consolation. Everything doesn’t go right everyday. Sometimes things are a bummer. There’s a school of thought that says a glass of sparkling wine is an excellent way to accept the ‘L’ and prepare for rebuilding. It’s worth further investigation.
Finally, Wednesday, the hump day. Preferably in February, in the northern hemisphere, the runt month. Nothing brightens a blah day like the tongue and palate shower of a zillion tiny popping CO2 bubbles.
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